Ok, so I did sign an NDA (non-disclosure agreement) when I arrived at Google HQ.
But(t) this story has to be reported. It can't be flushed down the toilet, as it's a real stinker and it ain't crap.
I was at Google HQ this morning for a tech summit. But enough about that. I went to use the lavatory to do a #2. That's a prime number, right? Well, this is a prime story, so it fits. Anyway, the toilet is one of these newfangled one that's plugged in to a warm-water line as well as to the power socket. When you're done excreting, you press the "backdoor hosing" button and a stream of warm water squirts up to your brown eye. It keeps squirting until you hit the off button (I'm guessing maybe after 10 minutes it'll shut off on its own.) Then you press the "blow hot air" button to dry you up.
Maybe for some people, this contraption works. For me, all it did was spread the fertilizer all over the backfield and further wiping caused the paper to fall apart, thereby increasing the amount of work I had to do to recollect the specimen, using more paper to dry and clean the nether regions.
I mean, really, what's wrong with the old fashioned paper-in-hand? I've been using that since I was at least 4 years old and I think I've mastered the process. So moving to a new process would require that I take another 10,000 hours to become master of that.
So that's what happens when a company's stock goes into the stratosphere: they flush the money down the toilet with automated butt cleaners. I hope the NDA doesn't actually cover this little turdbit.
Now, this isn't a dump on Google, but rather on the toilet maker. Although, there is some culpability on the purchaser's behalf.
But(t) this story has to be reported. It can't be flushed down the toilet, as it's a real stinker and it ain't crap.
I was at Google HQ this morning for a tech summit. But enough about that. I went to use the lavatory to do a #2. That's a prime number, right? Well, this is a prime story, so it fits. Anyway, the toilet is one of these newfangled one that's plugged in to a warm-water line as well as to the power socket. When you're done excreting, you press the "backdoor hosing" button and a stream of warm water squirts up to your brown eye. It keeps squirting until you hit the off button (I'm guessing maybe after 10 minutes it'll shut off on its own.) Then you press the "blow hot air" button to dry you up.
Maybe for some people, this contraption works. For me, all it did was spread the fertilizer all over the backfield and further wiping caused the paper to fall apart, thereby increasing the amount of work I had to do to recollect the specimen, using more paper to dry and clean the nether regions.
I mean, really, what's wrong with the old fashioned paper-in-hand? I've been using that since I was at least 4 years old and I think I've mastered the process. So moving to a new process would require that I take another 10,000 hours to become master of that.
So that's what happens when a company's stock goes into the stratosphere: they flush the money down the toilet with automated butt cleaners. I hope the NDA doesn't actually cover this little turdbit.
Now, this isn't a dump on Google, but rather on the toilet maker. Although, there is some culpability on the purchaser's behalf.
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